22nd November: CVFH

Ah, facebook playing up again so no photos for now – we’ll post later – of the Cotswold Vile Farmers’ Hunt who met today near to Newent with horse boxes parked up at the Birds of Prey Centre. Huge thanks to the couple who spotted the hunt and called them in – we caught up with them not long after they left Acorn Wood.

We believe they marked to ground on a couple of occasions today with Master Golding and pal acting suspiciously throughout the day and various warnings being called around about our presence.

The trail layer was obviously very lazy today and only laid one line (or, more likely, the fox was jinking back and forth within the long wooded areas instead of breaking into the open). The slightly soggy surroundings obviously did nothing to dampen Frenchy’s wit as he grinned (like a 12-year old bully who’s spent all night thinking of a clever insult) and said ‘you’re really behind today’… whilst we stood next to him (not behind) having been keeping a close eye on him for the past hour and a half.

Cammy the whip seemed to have half-killed her horse who she was making canter uphill as he wheezed loudly…

In the absence of pictures we’re including a checklist of things which must be present during the day in order to count as a proper Cottie Vale meet (numbers given are a minimum):

1. Simon Scatterpack losing hounds x3
2. Hounds running on main road x2
3. Number of hounds lose on road during #2 = 4
4. Chris Golding and pal having to rate hounds from quad to help out Scatterpack x5
5. Golding and pal having to gather hounds for Scatterpack because they pay little attention to him x7
6. Average time to gather whole pack = entire day
7. Number of hounds loose at any given time = 6
8. Average time to gather decent number of hounds = 20mins
9. Number of (attempts at) witty comments = 47
10. Number of actual witty comments = 1
11. Number of mounted / car / foot support = 7

We’re out again another 2 – 3 times this week. If you can chuck us a bit of money to help with fuel, please do so. The bet is also still on as to when Simon ‘Scatterpack’ Frenchy gets fired by the hunt – send us a quid with a note attached with the date you think he'll be told to go and win a set of our greetings cards if you’re the closest bet – paypal.me/threecountiessabs

Thanks! 3C

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