Pip pip, chaps!

After the resounding success of our first ever advertised public demo in Aberdeen for fellow patriots, fellow patriots have asked me to write up an effective blueprint for further usage by fellow patriots on future demo’s.

It ‘s been a busy week up here in my Seaton Kehlsteinhaus since I declared my intention to stand as a Member of the European Parliament. Reading, writing and doing the adding up are all new skills that can take a while to learn, and as I’ve been told that I must learn at least one of those skills to be an effective politician then I will. My country demands no less from me! My fellow patriots deserve the best Furher (Sieg Heil!) in charge of everyone! Could Hitler (Sieg Heil!) read and do long division? Probably! So I should learn as well. It’s like my old mum used to say to me “If it’s good enough for Hitler, it’s good enough for you! Now eat yer fish fingers or yer nea gettin to watch Dallas!”

So after the resounding success of our first ever advertised public demo in Aberdeen for fellow patriots here are some top tips, some dos and dont’s and a few handy pointers that can help avoid any funny gaffs or blunders….I hope you enjoy having them read out to you as much as I enjoyed drawing them out on paper with a big crayon while my carer interpreted my ravings into simple ENGERLISH for my fellow patriots to understand.

Davie “Bawbug” MacNaziie…

xxx

 How to hold an affective Racist Far Right Demo…

Location: Effective demonstrating is all about location. As we were trying to galvanise the local community in Seaton (the community being affected by the building of the Muslamic terror centre or MOASQUE) we chose to hold out demo outside of Seaton, thus attracting no members of the community to our demo.

It’s also important to choose a location that will allow you to interact with the public and get your message out. For our first ever advertised public demo in Aberdeen for fellow patriots we chose to stand outside a disused public toilet, behind a busy petrol station, beside a very busy road that attracts absolutely no pedestrians.

I must admit that I chose the location for sentimental reasons. I have spent many a happy hour in those public toilets when I was a lad, and they used to be very busy. Loads of guys used to hang about them, not any more it seems, probably due to public sector cuts. When I’m Fuhrer (Sieg Heil!) there will be public toilets everywhere!

 Image: They say that politics is Showbiz for ugly people which is why I’m standing to become a member of the European Parliament. Joking aside, we here at The National Front do take our image very seriously, which is why on our first ever advertised public demo in Aberdeen for fellow patriots we chose to have our most manly and handsome patriots on the outskirts of the demo to entice the passing general public into our warm loving embrace.

Is there anything more stirring and erotically charged than the shining knights of the master race on display? Proud, erect and well shaved? I think not.

And as you can see we chose to stick to the classic family friendly 1970’s racist skinhead look and the never out of fashion 1980’s soccer casual look.

Large shades and close fitting baseball caps are also handy just in case you don’t want neighbours/workmates to know you’re a racist.

It saddens me that modern politics has become all about policy and not image. There was a time when all you needed to succeed in politics was a smart flick, a tiny moustache and a liking for mass extermination. Rest assured voters when I’m in charge every man, woman and child will be forced to cultivate a tiny moustache (Sieg Heil!)!!!

Posters: Remember to have lots of leaflets to hand out to the thousands of people who will be passing your demo. We forgot to take any this time but as we had no members of the general public pass by it worked out as a saving for the party. This is just one example of the sound fiscal policy’s I will be implementing when I’m voted in as a MSP. Remember, Vote Racist! Vote Davie!

And don’t concern yourself with the wishes of the parents of a young man who was brutally murdered on the streets in London, use the victims name and image for your own political / financial gain and to spread an agenda of hatred. This is a policy that is guaranteed not to backfire on us in any way! So, Vote Davie! Vote Racist!

Speeches: Remember to bring along a P.A. System or megaphone so you can address fellow patriots and the thousands of members of the general public you will attract with a fine speech. Don’t forget to use LOTS of hand gestures when speaking. We forgot to take our mega phone this time but the passing cars, buses, lorries and the hundreds of Anti-Fascists across from us would have drowned out the speeches we would have made anyway, had we had any ready. We did lots of hand gestures though!

Health and Safety: It’s important to remember that when you are standing directly behind a petrol station not to be smoking a tab. If we were to blow ourselves up this would not only hamper my election prospects at becoming Furher (Sieg Heil!!!!!) it would also give a clear victory to Anti-fascists, the local community and all normal thinking people… So remember patriots, stay safe and as Jimmy says “Clunk-Click! Every Trip!”

Punctuality: Hitler ((Sieg Heil!!)) would be spinning in his grave if we turned up late at our own demo!

Finally, the most important thing to do out there is have fun. Having the ability to laugh at yourselves is essential. Thousands and thousands and thousands of non patriots (like those in the picture below) will come and point at you and laugh, make rude finger gestures, possibly even throw things. Silver haired grandma’s may even come up and spit on you, small children will run away screaming and passing vehicles of all sizes will try and run you over so be prepared to smile politely and hide behind a beard free police man.

Remember when we win all these millions of people who clearly think we are idiots will get theirs!

((Sieg Heil!!))((Sieg Heil!!))

Vote Racist! Vote Davie

Cheers Davie, good luck in the next elections!