Or the answers you want for the difficult questions.

Q: I need a list. How do I get authorised?

A: getting authorised involves a long and arduous process of induction into the ways of AktiviX, which only a select few survive. the perils are great, and the rewards are, erm, spending large amounts of time answering requests from members of the public. you’re welcome to apply to become One Of Us if you’d like, but in the short term, there’s an easier way:

[Just tell us what name you want for your list]