The Joys of Self-Damnation

In the October 2010 Issue of Ode magazine, Rabbi Rami said the following in his article “Standing Barefoot Before God: The Agony and Ecstasy of Writing as a Spiritual Practice”:

Being damned is quite liberating.  That’s why the saved fear the damned, and why they damn them in the first place.  Salvation, as too many of us imagine it, is ultimate conformity to one or another system of belief or behavior, while the damned are those who insist upon living outside that system.  Authentic spiritual practice–disciplines that don’t merely mirror the imagined world of any given system of thought, but shatter the mirror to see what is on its own terms–is about living outside the system, any system.

Good God, what a wonderful quote!

I first read that article several years ago because I was into spiritual journal writing at the time and still do it here and there, but found that that single paragraph transcended the rest of the piece in its wisdom, universal applicability, and irreverence!

You see, I find that I am among the damned in so many fields because I’m too fucking jaded to accept orthodoxy as anything other than the oppressive views of the majority.  I am a sort of a Christian, but because I don’t give a flying fuck about most matters of doctrine most religiously-minded folks throw me into the theological outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of metaphysical teeth.  As an anarchist I don’t completely reject religion, and therefore I might not be taken seriously by some radicals, again finding myself damned.

A few months ago, I was involved in a church that practiced a sacramental form of Christianity and in which most clergy are not paid for their work, but have to support themselves some other way.  I was encouraged to pursue priesthood and I even took a minor order that was bestowed upon me by the bishop for the USA of the denomination.  I later left that denomination for a lot of reasons, way too many to outline here, but among them was the fact that the hierarchical structure in which the clergy have to operate was, in the end, too restrictive and just a pain in the ass.  I resolved that, if I were to pursue being any kind of religious teacher or leader, it would be as a damned person, a man who operates outside of the rigid boundaries of what that denomination defined as orthodox.  And since then, it’s been so nice to not worry about what that rightwing Masonic douchebag bishop thinks.

As Rabbi Rami said in the quote above, it is freeing to be damned.  I don’t care what the Christian authorities say about my theology or what the anarchist gurus say about my views.  Fuck ’em all.

Perhaps we should start a kind of a “Church of the Damned.”  Hmmmm….  sounds way too much like the title of a horror movie.

reactions to Crimethinc’s The Ex-Worker Holiday Special

Warning: You should probably know that when I blog, I sometimes try and write well-crafted and carefully structured essays, and other times I just spew my thoughts into a big fucking mess.  This post is in the later category.

Preamble: Since Crimethinc started podcasting, I’ve listened to it almost every time and would encourage other folks with anarchist leanings to do the same.  They always summarize anarchist struggles and actions, which is helpful for a person like me who gets discouraged at the thought of being alone in their beliefs of freedom and equality.  They also usually do a good job of examining issues of importance to anarchists through commentary, interviews, and historical summary.  Past issues have looked at environmentalism, facism, and squatting.  Whether or not I agree with the particular statement they’re making, I can usually respect the place they’re coming from and am enriched by their criticism.

Preamble over.  The latest episode of Crimethinc’s “The Ex-Worker” was a completely anti-religious holiday special.  If you feel like it, check it out here: http://crimethinc.com/podcast/15/

Toward the beginning of the episode, they give the following definition of religion from the Crimethinc Contradictionary:

Etymologically speaking, hierarchy means “rule by the sacred.”  In theory, religion is not necessarily oppressive.  One could hold, as certain revolutionary heretics have, that everyone and everything is sacred.  In practice, the only religions that survived the rise of empires were the ones that were willing to make themselves accomplices to conquest and colonization, not to mention the ones leading the charge.

They then summarize a history of anarchist opposition to religion, complete with relevant quotes from all the greatest anarchist writers.  It concluded with a commentary by the two podcasters, Clara and Alanis.

I have a crap-ton of reactions to the content of the podcast.  Way more than could fit into a blog entry of reasonable length (even though I doubt anybody’s reading), so I’ll just outline a few of them.

The most valuable portion of the podcast was the history piece in the middle, definitely makes the whole podcast worth listening to.

The commentary by Clara and Alanis was interesting.  They did concede that many devout Christians have also been dedicated anarchists and done good work, including Tolstoy, Dorothy Day, and some of the early IWW organizers.  Ultimately, however, they dismiss it because of the view they generally see among religious folks regarding authority.  As anarchists, they say, a person is their own authority and should not look to any scriptures, traditions, or institutions.

This view is interesting and makes for good rhetoric, but I consider it to be simplistic and absolutist.  They state that scriptures are a mirror in which the viewer sees affirmation of whatever views they want to see.  Christian anarchists find scriptures that justify their views, Liberationists find some to support a Marxist views, right-wing Americans think the Bible tells them to bomb abortion clinics and speak highly of a fictionalized version of Reagan, and the vast majority just don’t give a fuck about any of it.  This is true, but offers the possibility of meaningful dialogue with the hope of resolution, whereas the only future I can see for an individualistic view of authority supported by the podcasters can only lead to eternal fighting.  It’s a problem we both have to solve.

I’m going to wrap this up by looking at the definition of religion they quoted at the beginning.  As they say, religion is not necessarily oppressive, but the long-lasting ones become parts of empire.  I hope to be part of a non-oppressive religion, knowing fully that this means that nothing I contribute to it will last.  It will be wiped out, but that’s OK.

What do you all think?  Leave a comment if you feel like it.

Merry Christmas, if that’s your thing!

Hi, readers.  If there is in fact anybody reading this.

If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a good one today.  If you don’t, I hope it’s a good day all the same.

I’m working on a post that’s inspired by some thoughts I’ve had in response to Crimethinc’s latest episode of their podcast.  This episode’s all about anarchism’s opposition to religion.  Very timely.

Later, everybody.

“wonderful as vertigo”

Hello, dear friends.  Thanks for stopping by.

Why the hell am I here writing this?  Shit, I don’t know.

I’m currently re-reading the long poem Altazor by Vicente Huidobro.  It’s a rather confusing epic about a person (or maybe an angel) named Altazor journeying by parachute, discovering new worlds and experiences that completely destroy any attempt to describe them.  It’s unclear whether they’re falling to the earth or out into space, and it doesn’t really matter, because it’s a fantastic poem that I highly recommend.  In the preface, Huidobro invites us along with the following lines (translated from Spanish by Eliot Weinberger):

Here’s your parachute, Man, wonderful as vertigo.

Here’s your parachute, Poet, wonderful as the charms of the chasm.

Here’s your parachute, Magician, that one word of yours can transform into a parashot, wonderful as the lightning bolt that wants to blind the creator.

What are you waiting for?

I’m writing this blog because I am a Christian, although I find myself in a state of doubt more frequently than in that of belief.  However, there is such hope in the story of the Infinite becoming a human being in order to experience, teach and redeem I can’t help but want it to be true, and the examples given by folks who’ve believed in that story like Saint Francis of Assissi, Gustavo Gutierrez, and Dorothy Day are also inspiring.

I’m writing because as an anarchist or anarcho-syndicalist, I believe in freedom and equality.

I’m writing because I believe that a strong (though perhaps unorthodox) Christian faith can be compatible with anarchist ideas and that there is an expression of Christianity that is other than the hateful varieties that are over-represented on TV and talk radio and among elected officials.

I’m writing because stuff happens to me and thoughts occur to me, and I currently don’t have any other place to share them.

Most of all, I’m writing because I have a parachute, and although I’m scared as all fuck I’m gonna jump.  Does anybody want to take this parachute journey with me?