Don’t Tell Me What To Do – Don’t Tell Me How To Live My Life

I’ve got a problem with authority.

Authority consists of miserable condescending pricks who think they’re smarter than everybody else. e.g. parents, teachers, preachers, presidents, ministers, policemen and practically everyone around me.

Don’t tell me to get married.
Show me a happily married couple that hasn’t fought or had an argument.

Don’t tell me to become a monk.
Show me a happy satisfied monk who isn’t touching little boys or groping someone’s wife.

Don’t tell me to have sex.
Show me a lusty man who’s had enough. “No more!” he says, “No More!”

Don’t tell me to get a job.
Show me a wage slave who loves being treated like trash 12 hours a day.

Don’t tell me to earn some money.
Show me a wealthy man who’s satisfied with his millions.

Don’t tell me to worry about the future.
You’re more likely to die first! So you worry about your impending death.

Don’t tell me to go vegan.
Show me a vegan who isn’t an uptight self-righteous prick!

Don’t tell me to eat meat.
It’s disgusting! And you’re going to hell.

Don’t tell me to like, subscribe and comment down below.
I don’t have a corporate social media account.

Don’t tell me to vote for somebody.
Show me a politician who’s worthy of being a leader.

Don’t tell me to mind my language.
You cover your ears!

Don’t tell me which lives matter.
My life matters.

Don’t tell me to stand up for the national anthem.
Boo! This song sucks!

Don’t tell me nothing.
Shut your mouth! Shut it!
Now you mind yo business, and I’ll mind mine.
And if you cross my path, I’ll kick you in the nuts!