I have a Lenovo S20-30 netbook.
It’s time for the grand reveal!
When my HP laptop was dying, I asked someone to buy me a new laptop.
At the time, Windows laptops with a touchscreen were a big hype so I really wanted one.
And of course I wanted a bigger screen, faster CPU and more RAM than my HP laptop.
But this is the surprise I got.
An 11 inch netbook with Windows 8.1 with Bing preinstalled.
CPU: Intel Celeron N2830 dual-core processor (Bay Trail-M Series)
Clock Rate: 2160 – 2410 MHz
Level 1 Cache: 112 KB
Level 2 Cache: 1 MB
Number of Cores / Threads: 2 / 2
Power Consumption (TDP = Thermal Design Power): 7.5 Watt
Manufacturing Technology: 22 nm
Max. Temperature: 105 °C
GPU: Intel Integrated HD Graphics
Codename: Bay Trail
Architecture: Gen. 7 Ivy Bridge
Pipelines: 4 – unified
Core Speed: 311 – 750 (Boost) MHz
Memory Bus Width: 32/64/128 Bit
Shared Memory: yes
DirectX: DirectX 11, Shader 5.0
Technology: 22 nm
Supported Technologies: Wireless Display, Quick Sync, Speedstep
RAM: 2048 MB, DDR3, Single-Channel, Soldered
Ports: 1 USB 2.0, 1 USB 3.0, 1 HDMI, 1 headphone jack, SD Card reader
Display: 11.60 inch, 16:9 display ratio, 1366 x 768 pixel, Chi Mei N116BGE-L32, TN LED, reflective
Storage: Western Digital Scorpio Blue WD5000LPCX-24C6HT0, 500 GB, 5400 rpm
Networking: Realtek RTL8102E Family PCI-E Fast Ethernet (10/100MBit/s), Broadcom BCM43142 (b/g/n = Wi-Fi 4), Bluetooth 4.0
Soundcard: Intel Valleyview SoC – HD Audio Controller
Battery: 36 Wh Lithium-Ion, lasts 3 hours max,
Lifespan: 1 Year
Camera: Potato webcam
Keyboard: Chiclet, Keyboard Light: no
Preinstalled bloatware: Cyberlink PowerDirector 10, McAfee LiveSafe-Internet Security (trial version), MS Office (trial version), Nitro Pro 9, Superfish
Now, I’ve listed the specs according in order of priority. I’ve tried to be as civil as possible, without making this personal.
And now I’m going to critique this piece of crap. Are you ready?
CPU: This is the worst CPU that I’ve ever used in my entire life. Like what year was this made for? 1978?
Intel, I’ve got some words for you.
Intel, Fuck You! Fuck you Intel! Fuck you for producing this garbage processor that is slow as fuck and can’t even run Windows.
Do you know how fucking slow this is? I had to install Linux on the damn thing! I had to learn Linux. I tried and tested like a dozen distros over and over and over, again and again, every year. And at the same damn time, I had to learn how to create my own distro, a slick and smooth and fast one that could run on this piece of crap that you MONKEYS dare call a processor.
When was this piece of junk created?
Now I’m curious. I wanna know what year it was that Intel thought was a great year to create a dual core CPU with only 2 fucking threads.
Oh gee! It’s the year 2014! Everyone’s running computers with quad core CPUs with 2.4Ghz min. base clock and 4.0 Ghz boost clock.
I wonder what kind of processor we could create that would please our customers?
Cache? Who needs cache?! Let’s put a 1Mb cache and call it a day!
What was this processor designed for? Running a fridge? Opening and closing your doors? Beeping an alarm when the intruders break your windows?
What the fuck, can a CPU with 1Mb cache, accomplish by the modern standards?
Y’know back when I was a Windows nerd, I saw these Windows for embedded systems. These are the systems that ran on things like vending machines and billboards.
Hey Intel! Is that what you designed the N2830 CPU for?
Then why the fuck did you sell that processor to laptop manufacturers?!
The N2830 CPU cannot run modern applications on Windows. It can barely run the Windows OS.
And to think that Intel engineers would come up with this garbage processor is a disgrace to humanity.
To think that Intel would release such a CPU into the consumer market is utterly despicable!
I’m glad AMD has taken the consumer market.
I’m glad AMD is whooping Intel’s ass like the little bitches they are.
It’s a thin piece of comfort, but it’s comfort nonetheless!
You know I hope AMD takes over the entire planet, and I hope Intel goes bankrupt and shuts down and I hope all the Intel engineers go fuck themselves for designing this piece of shit processor.
GPU: Intel Integrated Graphics has been a running joke for a decade. And if AMD hadn’t stepped up and pulled out that Vega card, Intel would still be fucking everyone over with their piece of crap Intel UHD.
Intel UHD is a joke.
If anybody has a computer with Intel UHD alone, they just got smacked in the eyes by Intel’s nutsack.
The S20-30 can’t play 1080p YouTube videos. The best you can watch is 720p.
Now, onto Lenovo.
Lenovo, get your asses ready. You know it’s coming. It’s coming down hard!
2GB of soldered RAM!
Can you believe this shit?!
Who came up with the idea of pairing 2 gigs of soldered RAM with Intel’s pile of crap?
Who is it?
Give me a name!
Who is the Lenovo engineer, that came up with this marvelous idea?
I wanna know his name. I wanna know his address. So I can pay him a visit an solder his asshole shut.
If you design this kind of garbage, you do not deserve to be called an engineer.
You should be called a monkey. A retarded monkey.
This was 2014, you stupid moron! You knew this kind of shit wouldn’t run Windows OS!
2 USB ports on either side of the netbook.
What was this netbook supposed to run? Chrome OS?
Put everything in the cloud? Google cloud storage? Microsoft OneDrive?
Y’know the laptop had Microsoft OneDrive. But it was so slow, it was unusable.
The SD card reader didn’t work.
It detected my card like twice when I was using Linux and that too disappeared.
But the SD card on my HP laptop was flaky too, so I’m not gonna blame ya’ll. These SD card readers all seem to be crap.
The display was terrible. This was hands-down the worst screen to be ever put on a laptop. The worst!
The touchscreen was laggy, so that was a useless feature too.
The screen was so reflective, I could use it as a mirror.
The resolution was terrible and you could count the pixels if you stared at the screen.
Who put that screen on there? Who the hell approved such a screen? That screen was so terrible, it could make people go blind.
Lenovo! Are you smelly jerkoffs trying to blind the world?
Shame on you!
The storage was okay.
My HP laptop had a similar storage setup so I’m not mad about that.
But if these pricks from Lenovo had put in an SSD, it would’ve made the netbook run a little faster.
But oh no! They had to cheap out on everything! Sons of bitches!
The WiFi card gave me a lot of issues on Linux. Bluetooth didn’t work on any of the distros.
Thumbs down for that.
And fuck you!
The sound was okay, I guess. I’m no audiophile.
The battery lasted for about 3 hours when it was new.
When you think of the hardware it was powering, Lenovo may have as well just popped a cell phone battery in there.
The speakers were terrible. Tiny sounds that made it seem like a cell phone from the late 00’s was playing.
The webcam was terrible. Then again, all laptop manufacturers still use potato webcams. That’s shameful. In this decade, if you put a 720p webcam on a laptop, you’re evil. You should be shot in the leg for pixelating people’s faces. That’d bring you back to your senses real quick.
The keyboard was okay. A little hard to get used to in the beginning but I managed to make it work.
The bloatware was unnecessary.
When you design a laptop that can barely run Windows, adding a bunch of garbage software only makes it worse.
The netbook came with Lenovo superfish. I guess that’s because all their moms’ vajayjays smell like fish.
The build was plastic. I don’t mind the plastic except that the screw holders broke off and I had to use cellotape to keep the laptop together.
The hinge lasted surprisingly well. even though I left the display open for about an year. That faired pretty well compared to HP.
Overall, this was a terrible terrible netbook. I wouldn’t recommend it to my worst enemy. It was that bad. I wouldn’t give it to ISIS. I wouldn’t want Kimmy Jong Un to use it. I wouldn’t even give it to a child to play with it as a toy.
Hey Lenovo! Hey! LENOVO! ARE YOU READING THIS?
‘Cause I have one more thing to say to you.
Fuck you for manufacturing this piece of crap.
And that marks the end of my rant.
I would never ever purchase another Lenovo laptop, just as a matter of principle. Even if it was a $2000 X1 Carbon. Wouldn’t do it.
And I wouldn’t advice anyone to buy one either. Doesn’t matter if it’s a thinkpad or thonkpad or thotpad. If it’s Lenovo, stay away. While you may get a good product, there’s some consumer that probably got fucked over by Lenovo. And that doesn’t sit right with me.
I wouldn’t buy a HP either. Just putting that out there. I’m not going to talk about my HP laptop experience here. But maybe sometime, if someone wants to hear it.