It was a group of us preparing something, maybe an illegal action, but we were caught before anything could happen and we were all arrested.
While awaiting trial we were sent to jail. A guy with brown hair gave us a brief of what the jail was like. We were going to be in the same cluster, some of us would sleep in a big room full of beds, there were rules as to what we could have with us. We could keep some of our things, but there were restrictios. There were rules also to go to the toilet, a time table. We were allowed to keep our clothes but when they were dirty they would be removed and we would find clean clothes that did not belong to us next to our bed the next morning.
I had a torch that was useful when getting to bed, people were envious but in a good way. The torch had some other function that I didn’t understand very well. One night some one managed to get music out of it, but it was so low no one could really hear it, even me.
At that time I was wearing a shirt that was a bit big for me, I had lost a lot of weight. The timetables for the toilets were complicated. I asked the others and they said, ‘now is a very good moment’. The toilet was a cubicle in the middle of a big room. There was only another woman there and she was leaving so I left the door open, and sat on the toilet. When I went to clean myself, I saw blood, and when I went to use the toilet paper, there was poo all over it. Suddenly lots of other inmates came asking me to hurry up; I locked the door. I told them what was happening and they tried to help me by giving me instructions with the paper, to get the blood clean, to get the poo off the toilet paper. Finally I flushed the biggest amount of toilet paper ever.
When I got out of the toilet one of the guards called me and said that the gramola I had kept with me was a forbidden item so they had confiscated it. They did not say whether I would be able to recover it when I got out but I was too afraid to ask, I just hoped I would. Then I remembered that this thing they were referring to must be the music device, which I myself had not been able to listen, and I wondered if it could be separated from the light torch. They had confiscated the whole thing.
The next morning the new, ‘clean’ clothes next to my bed were dirty and even smaller. I worn them all day and at the end of it I could see a dark haired guy who was in charge. I told him I didn’t think it was acceptable to call the shirt I was wearing clean, and the clothes that had been removed from the side of my bed had been cleaner than this. He mumbled something and I asked if that was an apology. He looked at me slowly and said: one. As in, three strikes and something will happen. I chose to say something and I just looked at him, and then I recognised him, he was the guy who had given us instructions, but his hair was very long and untidy so he had been hard to recognise.
We were all awaiting our trials but something said to us that they would never come, so an escape was organised.
We all went out but we went different ways. We pretended we were kids playing and that way the village neighbours would allow us to places otherwise they wouldn’t. Derelict places, yards. I was running on my own at one point and, little as I was, I saw a soldier guarding a wooden gate. There was straw all over the floor and straw bales against the walls and next to the gate. I asked if I could pass and he said yes, go ahead. Once I crossed the threshold I realised something was wrong, I grabbed a mobile phone which could have been mine or stolen, I texted something like, ‘don’t come this way, it’s a trap’ or ‘go back to jail it’s all a trap’ and I then went to delete the message from the ‘sent’ folder, at that point something hit my head, I was sure it was the soldier that had told me to go through, I wondered if I had had time to delete the sent message and I thought ‘yes’, because I remembered pressing the delete button.
Maybe I had been allowed to go back in time, and escape this soldier, either by refusing his offer to cross the gate or escaping in the maze of barns after crossing. All the others who had gone back to jail had had their trials and gone free. I had also gone free but I was on the run, escapig, lookefor, they still wanted to catch me and I realised the whole operation had been prepared for me.
I arrived at the river in B-river. I was somehow travelling with some one else with me and he was continuously dismissing my plans, but in the end he accepted my plan to enter this building where I knew someone and we came in. But we didn’t want to compromise this person so we entered the building but we didn’t make our presence known. Somehow I realised just how difficult it was going to be to go on surviving and running away with the operation they had set up against me.