Yo, lissen up dudes. Me is da new MC in da tunes dept, wot is officially called Musak. Me name is Prof Phil S Tine. Just call me Da Prof. Yous is finkin, wot happened to the well fit previous main geezer? Somefink to do wiv league tables. Hers NSS scores was rank.
So, bruv, we is startin some serious new courses innit. We aint boverin wiv no Beetroot nor Bark. Me dont dig veg or dogs an stuff, know wotahm sayin.
Ma main man, Prof Spier, who has a fing about cuckoo clocks, wants stuff for the kidz. So we is scrappin everythin and gettin a BA in Hip Hop in da house, and some badass lechurers to learn it em. Students dont need no entry quals, so long as theys good at scratchin and gotta natural musikfaculty innit. So here up the Kingston Hill massive, we is doin heavy shit. Me bruva, me mate Billy Bookah will advize on wicked dressin up as Dave Bowie who him sez was well batty.
So Coolhurst is where its happenin. We is goin to be lit every night an well up da league tables. Respect. Keep it real.