Yet another SMT vacancy

Primary Practice Group: Higher Education, Bluster and Bullying

Salary & Benefits: Huge

Closing Date: 01/05/2018

Kingston University is the largest higher education provider in south-west London, or at least it was, with an annual income of around £200 million (at time of writing), so big management salaries are safe for now. Passionate about power, we the management believe strongly in staff carrying the can – ‘learning through suffering’.

From August 2018, we are establishing a new Faculty of Business and Social Sciences, bringing together disparate subject areas with fewer staff but no close natural association to save money. This will enable us to cling on a bit longer. The disciplines represented in the new Faculty include Business, Law, Social and Behavioural Sciences, Criminology and Sociology … no, really.

This is an exciting opportunity for a new Pro Vice-Chancellor and Dean to piss off all the staff like the last loony from the polders. In line with the university’s vision, mission and aims, it is critical to provide visible leadership and strategic direction because no one else here has a clue how to do it. If you find you keep using arse words like ‘aspirational’, ‘pride’ and ‘excitement’ and phrases like ‘united by a shared, common purpose’, this could be the job for you.

An accomplished academic (at least one paper in the last ten years), with significant weight-throwing experience and a track record of successfully managing your CV, you will demolish existing strengths and shove around colleagues to upset everyone.  You will have a committed focus on delivery of excellence and talking endlessly about it.

A stimulating yet challenging time to join a University that is clinging on by its fingernails.  This is a great time to join our Senior Management Team to help grow our salaries, arbitrarily close departments and change faculties.

For further details, including required qualifications, skills and experience or the role, please visit: quoting reference 3510 squids a week.  The closing date for applications is 12 noon (BST) on Tuesday 1st May 2018.

Kingston University always says it’s committed to equality and we value the diversity of our staff and students but that’s all for show.


This entry was posted in General. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *