Top Ten Most Interesting Refusals I’ve Had The Chance To Give In Life

everyone has a list like this

10. I’m sorry, you’re going to have to ask someone else to make that Protect the Flag speech.

9. Sorry, I have to stop playing Ninja now and go back to Harvard.

8. No, I don’t want to meet the astronaut right now.

7. No, you can’t wear my wimple. I only have the one.

6. No, I really don’t think LSD is going to help me. Thanks anyway.

5. No, I can’t use the other vise, because I also broke that one in half with my bare hands, like I just did this one.

4. No, I really can’t drink any of that until you drink a whole glass of it first.

3. Nope, I’m not going to think that, at all.

and

2. Sorry, but no, I’m not done hugging you yet. I’ll let you know.

But number one is

1. I just don’t mediate. Alright? I don’t. It doesn’t work for me.

And then there’s a long pause, where I wish I was explaining what I’m thinking, but I’m not.

I just don’t meditate. It doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried asking for advice, but none of it helped.

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