MARKETS: THE LATEST LIE

Web ExclusiveIt’s the story that never dies! Minutes finally published in late June for a meeting that took place on 24 April reveal that the council have discovered £41k in CASH is MISSING from their Markets Service. Just like The BRISTOLIAN’s been saying all along!

But how can this be? Didn’t Mayor Cover-Up and his trusty sidekick, Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty, publicly assure us all in 2013 that NO MONEY WAS MISSING from Markets and that the Bristolian needed to stop making unsubstantiated insinuations? !


Well, that’s now officially a load of bollocks – and not at all – according to Mayor Foot-in-Mouth’s own Audit Committee. They heard ADMISSIONS from the council’s over-promoted bog cleaner-in-chief Charlie “Gutbucket” Harding, the Chief Internal Auditors and the council’s finance boss, Peter “What Crisis?” Gillet, that, despite strenuous DENIALS stretching back over three years, at least £41k of CASH has in fact gone astray.

Not that sensitive council bosses put it quite as crudely as that. Instead they referred to “A DEBT” of £41k. Albeit a rather unusual cash “debt” that was authorised by no one and is owed by no one!

Indeed, most of us would say that this money is “unaccounted for” or “missing” or, even, “STOLEN”. But what’s some deliberately misleading SEMANTICS between senior council finance managers covering arse and councillors?

This motley collection of expert finance bosses, who have taken just three years to uncover a “debt” that was first pointed out to them by a whistleblower all that time ago, were also quick to assure councillors that the “debt” was “not thought to be the result of MISAPPROPRIATION or BAD MANAGEMENT“.

Really? So how did the cash disappear then? Did it float out of a safe and up to heaven one day? Did it spontaneously combust somewhere in St Nicks Market? Or perhaps their Market safe is a portal to another dimension and our money now lies safely beyond everyone’s reach?

These latest excuses from council bosses are RIDICULOUS. How the fuck can £41k of public money not be accounted for and it not be the fault of anyone? Do they take us all for fools?

Indeed, when pressed, the council’s USELESS pair of Chief Internal Auditors were forced to admit that they were “not able to determine what had happened to the money”! So quite how the pair of COVER-UP merchants can then state categorically that it’s nothing to do with “misappropriation or bad management” is anyone’s guess. Mainly theirs!

Mayor Cash Loss’s Tory cabinet finance chief, Geoff “Cods” Gollop, was even forced to wade in at the meeting. Blustering that “accounting systems have been changed to ensure that this situation is rectified for the future”. But what “situation” is he referring to? How exactly do you rectify an INEXPLICABLE OCCURRENCE?

At least councillors on the Audit Committee, after spending three years staring gormlessly into space listening to increasingly WILD EXPLANATIONS from finance bosses while their Markets Service was ripped off, may have finally woken up.

They’ve demanded a further report from their BENT finance chiefs by the autumn and demanded an update on the so-called “debt” for their next meeting.

But what happens next? Will anyone call the POLICE to investigate where our money is as it’s obvious our council has either no idea or is covering up what’s happened to it?

MEANIE MEANS

Eyebrows are being raised among some of the city’s social workers at the selection by the local Labour Party of Eileen “Meanie” Means as a potential mayoral candidate. Meanie used to run North Somerset Council’s social services department where she was a notorious workplace bully.

A reader tells us, “We used to hide in the ladies when we knew she was coming. She was blatant. If your face did not fit she would quiz other staff to get the goods on you and then try and get you sacked.”

Then suddenly she was paid off and cleared out. There was, of course, a gagging clause to stop anyone discussing what might have happened and she got a pay-off – “some say £50,000,” claims our reader.

Meanie then took off for London where there’s further rumours of gardening leave and pay-offs. Our reader told the-powers-that-be in Labour Bristol all about this and they did nothing and so they’ve quit the party.

Vote Labour get arseholes!

Bacardi’s hot water electoral cocktail may leave MP shaken and stirred

Here’s some news you won’t hear on the local BBC – because her boyfriend works there – or in the Evening Post – because the editor is a congenital Tory idiot.

BristolNorth West MP, Charlotte “Bacardi” Leslie is in hot water with Parliament again. And this time round she’s leaked the confidential discussions of Parliament’s Health Select Committee to the media to boost her faltering reelection campaign.

Her actions have managed to piss off not only the highly regarded chair of the committee, Dr Sarah Wollaston, but also the majority of the committee itself who agree that Bacardi’s conduct  “represented a serious interference with the work of the Committee”.

Ms Bacardi, suffering in the battle for her marginal seat with Labour, was apparently desperate to get the contents of the committee’s draft  ‘Public expenditure on health and social care’ report into the public domain before the election.

This is thought to be because she managed to get an electorally convenient u-turn inserted  into the report stating there were no plans for any patient charges in NHS.

Although we all know Ms Bacardi has robustly expressed the view to Channel 4’s Dispatches, BBC Sunday Politics and the Guardian newspaper that patient charges should be introduced to the NHS!

Dr Wollaston and her committee have now voted to refer Ms Bacardi and her shameless electioneering at their expense to the Speaker for disciplinary action.

And the chatter in the tea room says that Bacardi will be forced to apologise to the House of Commons (again).

#walrustrial: HOPKINS’ COPS A BELLYFLOP

Gary “FUCKBUCKET” Hopkins, local Lib Dem boss and the undisputed king of ridicule, has reported a Bristolian to the police claiming ‘harassment’ after a four line comment appeared in the Evening Post on Friday:

Forsey comment

After trying to contain themselves the officers at Broadbury Road police station happily dismissed the idiot time wasting liberal’s demented claim.

For, alas, it seems the cops at Broadbury Road have become a lot less accommodating of Fuckbucket’s personal foibles and requests since Southmead Police have started investigating their conduct with Hopkins.

Issues such as Broadbury Road cops handing Fuckbucket and his Lib Dem colleague, Mark Bailey, police intelligence regarding the Gothic Mansion at ASBO case conferences are now firmly in the spotlight.

Police are also becoming interested in hearing if the tiresome Fuckbucket is yet being investigated by the council for his behaviour. This was confirmed by the mayor and legal services a few weeks ago.

He doesn’t like it up him does he?

#walrustrial: WE PAY FOR HOPKINS’ VENDETTA

The council run prosecution/VENDETTA against Misha Simmonite orgainsed by Gary “Fuckbucket” Hopkins has cost us council tax payers a cool £18k.

At a sentencing hearing last Wednesday council lawyers attempted to retrieve £27k in costs from Ms Simmonite only to be LAUGHED OUT OF COURT by magistrates who awarded them £9k costs instead.

That means the council tax payer has to pick the rest of this extortionate tab. These petty councillor-led vendettas are pricey aren’t they?

Council lawyers also failed to slap one of their notorious BENT ASBOS on Ms Simmonite at the hearing. An ASBO application by the council was also thrown out as it was DEEMED ILLEGAL by magistrates.

We’re told the council left the court very dejected.

#walrustrial: ARNOLD OVERBOARD!

So farewell then ARNOLD “WINDY” MILLER, head of pollution control at Bristol City Council. Anyone got the foggiest idea what’s happened to him?

Windy was, of course, Mark Curtis’s boss. Curtis being the man who admitted under oath in open court that the city council’s prosecution last month of Misha Simmonite for noise pollution was due to a VENDETTA led by Lib Dem councillor, Gary “Fuckbucket” Hopkins.

There’s also some recorded evidence knocking around of Windy blithely explaining that companies shouldn’t be prosecuted if they are trying to mitigate their pollution.

A policy he’s carried out beyond the letter where Sims Metal, friends of the Merchant Venturers, in Avonmouth are concerned while he strangely overlooked it when it came to Ms Simmonite and the thousands she spent on noise mitigation at her Knowle Road property.

Why the double standards we wonder?

Anyway, Let’s hope Arnold enjoys his luxury retirement at our (and who knows who else’s?) expense.

MARKET FARCES: THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING REPORT

The Markets FileWhat’s happened to this report on the city council’s crisis hit MARKETS SERVICE their Audit Committee has been promised by council bosses since September?

It didn’t appear in November. It didn’t appear in January. Although a minute from January assured the committee, “a report on the Markets Service will be presented to the Committee at its Meeting on 6th March 2015.”

Alas, there’s no sign of any such report on the agenda for 6 March now either. What on earth’s the problem? Where is this report? Why’s it taking so long?

Facilties Management bosses and their boss Robert “SPUNKFACE” Orrett have now had THREE YEARS to come up with a rational explanation for what looks very much like open corruption and theft in this department and the blind eyes turned.

However, we do note some small changes over the six months we’ve been waiting for this report to appear.

Initially it was going to be delivered by the senior boss responsible, SPUNKFACE. By January he’d found a minion, Charles “DIRTBUSTER” Harding to deliver the bad news. And now it looks like Harding has found his own useful idiot to explain the inexplicable. Step forward lower middle management mug, Stacey Bartlett.

If the buck passing continues at this rate, Spunkface and Dirtbuster soon will be putting forward the cleaner to deliver their report!

Oddly, none of the three were anywhere near the Markets Service in 2012 when former bosses Harvey and Morris “uncollected” £165k of the department’s money and then attempt to dispose of any troublesome whistleblowers to cover their tracks.

Presumably we can expect this thriller of a report in May then?

BENT ASBO WATCH: INTRODUCING THE COUNCIL’S ‘NOT-AN-INVESTIGATION’ INVESTIGATION

Mentally retarded council housing boss Nick “DROOPER” Hooper is getting himself into a right old pickle with his INEPT attempt to ASBO a pair of environmental campaigners from Avonmouth on behalf of the local Tory Party.

Drooper, you may recall, fired off a THREATENING letter to the pair after they hand delivered some questions to Avonmouth’s village idiot Tory councillor Wayne “DUMB” Harvey.

However, now under scrutiny for his bizarre conduct, Drooper is becoming increasingly SHIFTY and claiming that his investigation into the environmentalists was in fact some sort of peculiar “not-an-investigation” procedure!

He claims his letter “was intended to set out the Councils view that the conduct alleged was, from the reports received, potentially anti-social and not conducive to good public administration.”

So does ANYONE have the foggiest idea what the fuck the difference is between receiving reports and forming a view on the basis of them and a straightforward investigation please? Answers welcome below.

Meanwhile, Drooper has now ended all correspondence on the matter of his er, deranged, unlawful and party political correspondence telling the AVONMOUTH ASBO DUO to contact the Local Government Ombudsman instead.

A pointless exercise as we all know the ombudsman is a GUTLESS regulatory quango that will see no problem with Drooper’s quasi-judicial party political antics.

However, The BRISTOLIAN understands that the injured parties have now received legal advice and will be taking the matter further through that route.

This, of course, will cost you dear council tax payer A SMALL FORTUNE in legal fees. And all because some balding OLD TORY TWAT on £90k a year thinks he’s above the law and will not do the decent thing and withdraw a load of old bollocks he’s written and apologise.

What a reckless MONEY SQUANDERING TWAT Drooper is.

This arrogant piece of Tory fuck-up with the fragile ego needs to withdraw his ludicrous claims immediately and save a small fortune in the public money that he’s handsomely paid to have some kind of responsibility for.

OFFICIAL: COUNCIL HOUSING BOSS HOOPER IS A TORY SUPPORTING BULLY!

hooperAll is not going to plan, it seems, with Bristol City Council’s efforts to ASBO environmental campaigners in Avonmouth on behalf of the TORY PARTY.

Readers may recall that the council’s thick and useless housing boss, Nick “DROOPER” Hooper fired off a letter to the two campaigners before Christmas threatening them with LEGAL ACTION for the new crime of hand delivering a letter to idiot savant Avonmouth Tory councillor Wayne “DUMB” Harvey.

Our intrepid campaigners, knowing a load of half-arsed BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL BULLSHIT when they read it, immediately fired in a complaint to the council, questioning the extent of the alleged statutory POWERS claimed by Drooper, his right to SECRETLY SNOOP on them and his apparent DISREGARD for their human rights..

A reply has now finally been received. And we discover that the council has simply IGNORED the majority of the complaint while helpfully explaining that no investigation into the pair took place despite Hooper’s legal threat detailing the conclusions of his. er … Investigation!

By what other process did DROOPER obtain “allegations” against the pair, consider the evidence and form his biased opinion then? Did it all just pop into his head as a vision while high on opiates? Or perhaps he just MADE IT ALL UP?

The council then go on to explain, using their amazing legal logic, that Drooper, by denying the pair their basic civil right of a RIGHT TO REPLY are not entitled to any civil rights whatsoever (such as the protections afforded under ARTICLE 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights)!

Normally at this point, we would say that you couldn’t make this shit up. But they obviously they have!

On the bright side, the council have not DENIED that Drooper is politically biased and doing favours for his friends in the local TORY PARTY. Neither have they denied that the purpose of his letter was to BULLY and HARASS local residents.

So at least we can all agree and publicly state without fear of legal action that Drooper is a POLITICALLY BIASED TORY BULLY BOY.

However, rest assured the matter will not rest here. A matter not likely to be helped by a RUMOUR emerging from the depths of Lawrence Weston that the complaint Drooper acted upon did not even come from councillor DUMB – who’s basically semi-literate and far too busy dropping his pants and bending over the desk for Merchant Venturer Port bosses Mordaunt and Ord to write a letter of complaint – but from local MP Charlotte “BACARDI” Leslie’s office.

Surely known Tory sympathiser DROOPER, Bacard’s office and the council wouldn’t be stupid enough to conspire to issue a blatantly BENT ASBO to help a Tory MP in a marginal constituency just months before an election?

Would they?