Monday: Had a brilliant idea tonight watching Seamus’ latest TikTok video. The NHS seem to be getting a lot of love and attention each Thursday night, when all they do is drive around in ambulances. I bet they don’t even have a speed boat. Besides, Daddy says there are a lot of foreigners in the NHS.
Tuesday: I made some posters, but Seamus laughed and said I’d spelt rescue wrong. My first poster said “Lets give James the clap” and Piers and Seamus did that thing where they look at each other and laugh behind their hands. They told me that under no circumstances should I try to initiate a clap for SAR event on Friday. I’ll show them.
Wednesday. I used Daddy’s laptop to spell check and knock up some fliers for the street (he really does spend a lot of time searching for pictures of a Meghan Fox. I assume it’s something like an Arctic Fox. He’s such a fan of nature). Very pleased with them, and spent the afternoon putting them through every letterbox in the street.
Thursday. Put the blue lights on The Interceptor in the road. The neighbours always look at me funnily, even though they know I’m basically real emergency services. One of them is a firefighter, and he always just mutters stuff under his breath when I put the siren on in my drive. Once the clapping was done I shouted “Tomorrow night. Clap for SAR yeah?” to Mr & Mrs Rodrigues, and the stroppy firefighter neighbour on the other side, but I’m not sure they heard me. They just sort of looked away and went back into their house shaking their heads.
Friday. Well that was a huge disappointment. I put The Interceptor out in the street and set the siren to “TSG-04” which is one of the really butch ones. I saw some curtains twitching so I know they were in, but NO-ONE came out to clap for me. Seriously, sometimes I wonder what I have to do to get people to see how I’m just one man, trying to make a difference. With a liveried sportscar.