BREAKING NEWS. LOCAL NEWS LIVE
Breaking: SAR team to be honoured with monument.
In a move echoing the national emergency services monument, our local team will also be immortalised by local artist Crejinda Maltinwort. The statue, cast in bronze, will depict a group of overweight responders in ill-fitting jackets desperately fighting over a remote control unit as a drone crashes into a huge pile of cash. The cash will be stuffed in a military grade all body webbing system, sitting on the bonnet of a blue-lit liveried subaru impreza, as a barrister watches and rubs his hands in expectation of another futile legal case. A dog wearing a harness will bark randomly at passers-by to symbolise the high rate of missed targets.
Team member Tim Heaton said “It’s about time we were honoured for our work, and hopefully it will result in a bit more cash flow. Sharp cars and legal fees don’t grow on trees you know.”