BLOOD-THIRSTY TOFF IN ‘ALSO A RACIST BASTARD’ SHOCKER!

WHO WOULD HAVE guessed that the same land-owning huckleberries that derive so much pleasure from the chasing and mauling of defenceless wildlife would also be out-and-out Victorian-style racists? Well, the stereotype of the landed rich as a shower of backwards, out-of-touch scum has once again been proved irrevocably correct by Lee Peters, huntsman for the Ross Harriers – a fox hunt operating in the northern extremities of the westcountry. As is the case at hunts all around the country, January of this year saw the harriers visited by their local hunt saboteurs – groups of wildlife enthusiasts who do heroic work sabotaging, monitoring and otherwise tampering with all manner of bloodsports, mainly foxhunts. Now, there has never been any love lost between hunts and saboteurs, and many a countryside outing has turned into a full-on scrap when both sides get to grips. On this occasion, Peters decided to uphold his hunt’s fine tradition of almost indiscriminate violence by riding up to the sabs as soon as they appeared, booting and whipping their van, and yelling a series of foul-mouthed threats! Not content with this, he took a peek inside the van, presumably to see what them thar city folk are wearing nowadays. Inside, along with the other saboteurs was a black female, who was obviously too much for Peters to handle. He turned to the rest of the hunt and shouted “Look, they even brought a fucking wog!” The understandably-distressed saboteur reported Peters to the fuzz, who duly arrested him. The remorseless hunt-master and his mates staunchly denied any racist remarks, even cooking up obviously pre-agreed fake stories (the fact that the hunt fraternity rallied round to defend him speaks volumes about their attitudes to racial equality). However, a local resident, out gardening, heard the whole altercation and was able to give the court enough evidence to convict Peters, slapping him with several thousand pounds of fines and court costs. It remains to be seen whether the Ross Harriers will to the right thing for once, and sack this bigot. Judging by their hobby, though, we doubt it. Sabs are out every weekend throughout the westcountry. To get involved with your local group, check out this webpage: hsa.enviroweb.org/index.php/get-involved/localgroups/243-southwest.

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