OBAMA VS. FLY

IN JANUARY, MORE column inches were probably dedicated to a fly that landed on Obama’s forehead than any of his policies or actions. Here at The Mutineer we thought we’d find out more about the creature bugging the President of the United States, and took the liberty of contacting an expert on flies at Bristol University. “The fly that landed on the President’s head was almost certainly a species of housefly”, our source told us. “They tend to feed on decomposing organic matter, especially meat. Obama has been looking old of late, and he has a lot of blood on his hands due to his drone war in Pakistan, so it’s not surprising that the fly took an interest in him. Houseflies are vectors of disease and in some parts of the world they can pass on some pretty nasty diseases”. So there we have it. Obama is responsible for the deaths of innocent civilians through his aerial attacks, to the point where he has been described as “Bush on steroids”, and his much-hyped environmental policies have barely been realised. The fly that landed on him is nature’s warfare against his misdeeds and inactions. We hope it’s the first of many fly-strikes against him.