I imagine it is difficult not to laugh at a time like this, but everyone manages somehow…
“Please repeat after me.”
“Ok.”
“I-”
“I-”
“Say your name.”
“I, radiation-”
“Do solemnly swear-”
“Do solemnly swear-”
“In front of God-”
“In front of God-”
“And the group assembled here-”
“And the group assembled here-”
“To eat beans every day.”
“To eat beans every day.”
“No matter what may happen,”
“No matter what may happen,”
“No matter what else there is to eat,”
“No matter what else there is to eat,”
“I will eat at least some beans,”
“I will eat at least some beans,”
“Probably a whole can,”
“Probably a whole can,”
“Every day-
…
“EVERY DAY-”
“Every day. Maybe with rice.”
“Maybe with rice. Very good.”
“And do you, this crowd gathered here, pledge to support radiation in her quest to eat beans everyday? To remind her if you see her at the grocery store, to look the other way when she is fishing cans of chick peas out of the food bank donation box? If you do, please respond, ‘Yum’.”
All: “Yum.”
“And do you promise to still let her sit next to you, even if you catch her chewing on the strap of your purse again?”
All: …
“If you do, please respond ‘Yum’.”
All: “Yum.”
radiation: “YUM!”
May your holiday season be packed with healthy protein power. Make sure to take it all seriously enough. I’ll write you an Xmas sermon later.
Photo from https://www.ecainternational.org/index.cfm/PageID/860/index.html