There’s a period all addicts who recover go through, where they learn that the nonsense they blamed on their drug use was only partly caused by it. Maybe even only slightly caused by it.
They learn the hard way, because — voila!— no drugs, and quite of bit of that nonsense remains. Anything but a comfortable realization, that one’s unadulterated personality is far shittier than one thought.
No fun at’oll, as I re’coll.
But that was a long time ago.