The Other Diane Keaton

The Other Diane Keaton

Lives underground, not in Tucson, Arizona.

The Diane Keaton in the US did not know. She had no idea, no clue. She was never told.

But a girl born underground was named after her and this girl was a real piece of work. I would say she rose through the ranks but really she sort of slithered and was rank.

And the US Diane Keaton has not been the same since. She was already popular!

Would you trade places with me if I was in trouble? Would you ease my pain? My healing?

Because I am not nice. I don’t know what that is, except a joke, right before you hurt someone, to be nice.

Would you pray to God for me, in detail? Learn my name and the names of my captors? Of course you would.

If you need more reason, do it for yourself then? Or your kids. Or their kids, aliens, international trade policy, better pizza, less male baldness, or whatever reason you like. I’m making this up as I go along.