Plan 2525

In the Plan 2525
If Maths is still alive
If Music can survive
They may find

In the Plan 3535
Teaching staff can only sigh
Everything you teach, do or say
Is forgotten the next day

In the Plan 4545
Ain’t gonna need your brain, won’t need your mind
You won’t find a thing to know
You’ve been given the elbow

In the Plan 5555
Management says you skive
You ain’t got no teachin’ left to do
Some computer’s doin’ it for you

In the Plan 6565
You won’t need no computer, no hard drive
Your office will be by the bins
With a bottle of Tesco gin
Woe oh woe

In the Plan 7510
We should have a decent VC by then
Maybe he’ll look around himself and say
Only thing I can do is pray

In the Plan 8510
Higher education could be dead
Kingston may have reached the end
Years too late to start again

In the Plan 9595
Will academics be alive
Management has sucked us dry
And left us all to die
Woe oh woe

Now there’s been 10,000 plans
Staff have borne 10,000 cans
For what, they never knew
Now they’re forever screwed

But through eternal night
Some twaddling VC shite
Not so far away
Maybe it’s only yesterday

In the Plan 2525 …

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