Story written by a guest writer.
Ladies and gents, are you tired of working for ASUPD for years without a pay raise? Of course you are, it sucks! Are you tired of hearing your former academy classmates handling real police work, while you take a break from being a mall cop to dirty dick a college student with a felony for 0.5 grams of medical marijuana pot? Of course you are!
If you’re too new for ASUPD admin and their pets to single you out and mercilessly attack your law enforcement career OR you sold your soul to the dark side of cronyism, threw fellow officers under the bus in department politics, and are part of the team of one, me, me, me mentality, then listen up!
Join a high profile, much advertised, ASUPD specialty detail, all you do is pretend to test for it and if you are liked the oral board counts for 100% of your grade. And once you’re in………………threaten to leave, meet ASU Police Chief Michael Thompson and get your special secret raise! ASU Police Sergeant Nate Deveny did it first and then coached his new bike squad to do the same.
If you’ve been a part of the Arizona State University Police Department longer than 5 minutes, are a person of average intelligence, then you’ll see what type of den of moral inequity, brothel, and disorganized clown show you signed up for. Seriously, some of these people would sell their mom to human traffickers to get ahead.
Be sure to ask Deveney, Casanno, Wang, & Zorich about their special raises and maybe you too can get tips on living a little larger than a check to check pauper with empty upturned pockets as command gives themselves another pay raise, yet another do nothing useless command position. Nothing quite says, “FUCK YOU” to other ASU Police Officers like a secret pay raise to a band of rookies for riding a bicycle.