The Kingston University Big Bleed

Kingston University’s Big Bleed is the drainable outcome of a SADASS research project conducted during the middle ages.

Similar bleeding schemes have been implemented during medieval times and there is considerable associated evidence that lacklustre staff suffering from illness and stress can be made to feel engaged and less likely to drop out by draining off a couple of pints. There is also literature suggesting that bleeding for pleasure promotes personal motivation in the VC and his fellow leeches. It also supports the work of the new KU Leech Research Institute.

In universities where such schemes operate, selecting the right partner is very much part of the process. For the academic year 2015-16 we have therefore chosen a vampire to get the scheme started, and it is Count Dracula, one of Kingston’s most famous numerically literate alumni.

Our aim is to reach out to staff and students, especially young women although that is against Kingston’s equality, diversity and inclusion policy. When Nona McDuffer complained, the Count relented, but drew the line at Lesley-hyphen-Jane. ‘Too much bad blood’, he joked in his quaint Transylvanian accent. He has also asked for stakeholders not to be included.

We hope that this scheme will promote a feeling of anaemia between students who are bitten and participate in Welcome Week events relating to the KU Big Bleed. Going forward we would like to keep this community momentum going and ensure the eternal nightlife of Kingston University amongst the undead of the educational system of Britain.

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