Up the HR – being an occasional message from the new boss

Oi! You wiv the ’air on. Pay attenshun, oi’m talkin’ ter you.

Soimon ’ere, butchoo can call me The Guvner. Oi woz wanderin’ rahnd River ’ahse the ovver day when oi bumps inta the top man (though that’s really me naawadays).
Oi sez to him “Awight my son”, an’ he sez ‘Yeah good Simon, I’m good’ (’e talks a bit posh yer know). Then he goes “Now look here Simon, are you sure about all this management observation and extended probation? After all, you don’t have much education experience”, he sez in ’is posh voice.

So I goes “Leave it aht squire. Course I got bleedin’ edukashun experience, oi’ve bin ’ere moreana year ern oi. Anyways, them shower of teachin’ ponces ain’t gonna do fahk all. They always roll over.”

“Well, I suppose you know best Simon,” ’e sez. “Too bleedin’ roight oi do,” I sez, and ’e goes off on ’is way. Werl, on ’is salary ’e don’t give a shit.

Anyways, oi cant keep talkin’ to you rabble all dai. S’nearly lunchtime ain’t it. Time for a few Stellas dahn the booza.


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