We’re on the Rhodes to nowhere

Kingston School of Art, the now-bloated love child of vice chancellor Steven ‘it wasn’t me’ Spier and Dean Colin ‘Rhodes to nowhere’, is in trouble. Last week at his welcome event Dean Colin told the assembled School that it was ‘not quite in the black’, and to ensure everyone needed to think about ways to be really sustainable. Sounds practical? Why then did he, reportedly in his best quivering voice, ask all present to care about each other, and not just think of themselves? Why did he warble koala-style encouraging staff to teach into each other’s programmes, to share their expertise? So fewer staff can teach more, of course. Why was his hired hand – the HR hit-woman in the front row – smiling and nodding at his every word, meeting his nervous glances with a reassuring smile reserved for him unless his back is turned? Someone needs to tell her she is HR, not PR.

Rhodes to nowhere is most certainly the long arm, the ever so hapless puppet, of invisible Spier. If he didn’t mess up over in Australia, Rhodes surely will at KSA where the staff are tougher than he. Rhodes’ HR heavy will lose patience with his emotional approach if he doesn’t cut staff soon.

After Dean Colin’s heartfelt address, he introduced his newly-recruited sycophants. The team heard a well-pitched and cloying manifesto of nothing in particular from ‘who-on-earth-is-he’ Andrew Teverson, whose earnest kiss blowing to Rhodes from behind a pseudo-intellectual beard came as a cold draught to everyone else. Next, almost sitting on each other’s laps, were two lightweights of research. Jane ‘pumped-up’ Pavitt grimaced through her crimson lipstick at Rhodes, who she is dumping to take a non-advertised, non-competitive job up at the top with Anne ‘big beads’ Boddington. Apparently grumbling to even stand was Simon More than Worthless. Those present last week think his reluctance to get vertical comes from a fear of being recognised by either those he has already mismanaged, or those who will expect him to do something. Don’t worry Simon, you are bland enough to be quickly forgotten. Alongside these chunky cronies, staff were honoured by the brief introduction of Sarah ‘stick’ Bennett, who occupies her time at Knights Park planning her own next art show. Bennett’s neighbour Angela ‘too dull for description’ Partington showed the crowd how much teaching and learning really is beyond banal. Thankfully Dean Colin stopped the roll call there, leaving the remaining protégés of his pointless initiatives to beam glowingly from behind their oversize designer glasses.

So where are we? Kingston is sinking. Don’t let any of those clunkers from KSA into YOUR lifeboat, however enterprising they promise to be.

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9 Responses to We’re on the Rhodes to nowhere

  1. nsnb007 says:

    Have you seen this article in the i news which reports that Kingston has a massive deficit:
    https://inews.co.uk/news/education/fearing-bankruptcy-turn-to-us-consultants/

  2. Boz says:

    I’ve asked you before not to post insubstantiated material. All you are doing is pandering to your own (very probably justified) viewpoint.

    I asked you once, a while back, to avoid ‘I just got this from the back of the lecture theatre’ poll reports. Why are you carrying on with this nonsense? Carry on undermining us all. I have to part company with you, because I think you are mainly interested in yourself now.

    • Dissenter says:

      Perhaps your complaint would carry more credence if you were able to refute the material in the post. We receive commentary from Kingston staff from time to time, some of which we publish. Feel free to send an alternative viewpoint.

    • What's Your Problem? says:

      Boz, you don’t make any sense at all. What are you actually disputing here? And the post was taken from the comments section, as the commenter asked for it to be a post – and quite rightly so too! I like that Dissenter listens to the commenters.

    • Jack Dawson says:

      To all the grovelling pro-management Cassandras complaining about this blog: if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

      We don’t have many ways of fighting back against management abuse, bullying and incompetence. You can be sacked for questioning their Party Line. Winning a case at an employment tribunal is bloody difficult. This blog is our little way of fighting back. So please, go and re-attach your lips to your managers’ arses and spare us your whining.

      ‘It suits today the meek and base
      Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
      To cringe beneath the manager’s frown
      And haul our Dissenter blog down’

    • Make a legal claim says:

      People are so scared to register complaints with ACAS and the Employment Tribunal. You are groomed to be scared. The reality is, it is easy to register. Some legal advisors are no win no fee, some you have to pay for. Whatever, get on with it, and register your complaints. Kingston do not want to go to tribunal, and you can at least get some money in the negotiation period with ACAS. But get someone to represent you. I know people going through this process. There is no reason why you lot can’t do it either. Kingston are paying thousands out to people!

      Also, you can make a legal claim whilst keeping your job! Stop hiding in the shadows and register your complaints!

  3. slime-on you crazy diamond says:

    So Slime-on More-than-Worthless was a bit of a swordsman on the quiet:

    https://kingstonuniversityscandal.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/a-kingston-university-sex-scandal-and-the-sexism-of-the-smt/

    That probably explains his failure to get up at the recent staff meeting. I guess we’ll all just have to bare with him until he finds a new PA to sit on his staff. In the meantime he will just have to make a good fist of it …

  4. Pingback: A Kingston University sex scandal – and the sexism of the SMT – Kingston University Scandal

  5. Congratulations to the Senior Management Team at Kingston University, for, as a result of the team’s sterling effort, the University has achieved a World University Ranking 2019 ranking of between the top 601 to 800 universities in the world.

    Well done indeed, SMT!

    Further details available at the following URL:

    https://www.timeshighereducation.com/world-university-rankings/2019/world-ranking#!/page/0/length/25/name/Kingston/sort_by/rank/sort_order/asc/cols/stats

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